Toughen Up
Just before I got married, I started a new job selling metal buildings. I was 26 and did not even know what a metal building was when I accepted the job. There were so many facets of the job to learn and I became overwhelmed immediately. Early on I made A LOT of mistakes and every time I did I took it hard. I cried. I questioned what I was doing.... and usually in front of my boss, who was not at all used to crying, sniffling girls in the office (this was predominately a man's business). One day after giving one of my customers an incredible (unintentional) deal on a specialized roof system and realizing that my profit margin was now in the red I sat across from my boss and listened to him explain where I went wrong. I held it in as long as I could and then the tears came. I was ugly crying and he got really uncomfortable. He looked at me and said three words that literally changed my life: "Get thicker skin"! "This is business, not personal", he said.
I am not sure if I understood the magnitude of his words that day, but over time these words became invaluable to me because they were FREEING! These words released me from working to gain approval from others. These words released me when I have had to have uncomfortable conversations with employees, and now students. These words have helped me to realize that one mistake does not invalidate my accomplishments. I have learned that there are some things that I do well and those things I will continue to do well. But there are some things that I have to continue to work on and those are the things that I absolutely need Jesus for. And it's not personal when He continually prompts me to do better. Actually, with him it probably is personal. But He is FOR me, not against me! He wants me to be the very best that I can. The Lord corrects those he loves (Proverbs 3:12).
I have to remember this with my students often. I also have to remind them of this often. Recently one of my honors students received a grade from me that she did not like and claimed it was because I did not like her. It was the exact opposite, actually. She was instructed to write a persuasive paragraph and had three topics to choose from. This student is a brilliant writer, by the way and I noticed the topic she chose was "The book that changed my life.....". Knowing her, I walked over to her desk and reminded her of the instructions. The writing was to be persuasive, not a book report. And it was to be no more than two paragraphs. She wrote 2 pages and gave a wonderful synopsis of the book. This student is an overachiever (which I love) but I needed her to understand that following directions was just as important as what she was writing. This was not personal - not in a negative way, at least. It was something I want her to learn now as a ninth grader. Correction is not a bad thing - it usually comes from those who care and usually is well received when the receiver has thick skin!
I am not sure if I understood the magnitude of his words that day, but over time these words became invaluable to me because they were FREEING! These words released me from working to gain approval from others. These words released me when I have had to have uncomfortable conversations with employees, and now students. These words have helped me to realize that one mistake does not invalidate my accomplishments. I have learned that there are some things that I do well and those things I will continue to do well. But there are some things that I have to continue to work on and those are the things that I absolutely need Jesus for. And it's not personal when He continually prompts me to do better. Actually, with him it probably is personal. But He is FOR me, not against me! He wants me to be the very best that I can. The Lord corrects those he loves (Proverbs 3:12).
I have to remember this with my students often. I also have to remind them of this often. Recently one of my honors students received a grade from me that she did not like and claimed it was because I did not like her. It was the exact opposite, actually. She was instructed to write a persuasive paragraph and had three topics to choose from. This student is a brilliant writer, by the way and I noticed the topic she chose was "The book that changed my life.....". Knowing her, I walked over to her desk and reminded her of the instructions. The writing was to be persuasive, not a book report. And it was to be no more than two paragraphs. She wrote 2 pages and gave a wonderful synopsis of the book. This student is an overachiever (which I love) but I needed her to understand that following directions was just as important as what she was writing. This was not personal - not in a negative way, at least. It was something I want her to learn now as a ninth grader. Correction is not a bad thing - it usually comes from those who care and usually is well received when the receiver has thick skin!
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